


By the Way

by sassyjumper



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen, Humor, Texting, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4045267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyjumper/pseuds/sassyjumper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A text exchange between House and Wilson. That's it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By the Way

 

 

\- What R u doing

\- I am eating raspberries. Hello to you, too, by the way.

\- btw

\- Pardon?

\- btw = by the way  
   Idiot (btw)

\- No. I do not use Internet slang.

\- grl

\- What?  
   Wait. You called me a girl, didn't you? How does that even make sense?

\- B3. I'm hungry

\- What is B3? So eat something. But don't come over here. I only have raspberries.

\- brt

\- Stop it.  
   OK, is that 'be right there'? I am not letting you in.  
   House?

\- Sry. PIR.

\- Stop doing that. Seriously.  
   House?

\- k, lets eat

\- It is too early for lunch. Go to the vending machine.

\- U still snarfin berries

\- No. They're gone.

\- NOMNOM

\- What are you even saying?

\- CBM

\- Covered by Medicare?

\- oops, CBB.

\- OK. I do not have time for this. I'll see you later.

\- L8r

\- Looking forward.

….

\- Bored. Lets PLO

\- Is this Yasser Arafat?

\- peace, luv, out  
   U spelled yasR airfat right in a txt

\- I told you. I refuse to use web lingo.

\- he's ded

\- Is that how you fill out death certificates? Why is texting any different? Why not use actual words and complete sentences? And punctuation?

\- tl;dr

\- Hah! I know what that means!

\- grrl

\- You know, your repeated attempts to use 'girl' as an insult are really misogynistic.

\- U C insult. Not me

\- I am not having a feminist debate via text.  
  
\- Tnk g-d

\- OK. We've covered Middle East politics, feminism and religion. Can I go back to work now?

\- No bb. Im still hungry

\- What did you call me?

\- basic bitch

\- I see. I have paperwork, and then I have rounds. You'll have to fend for yourself.

\- Aw bae, U 2 bzzy 4 me

\- House, this is really getting annoying. I am not responding anymore.

\- w/e

\- I know what that means, too! Don't w/e me.

\- ur no fun

\- You're not exactly a joy yourself.

\- YNEAJY

\- OK, seriously. I have work to do. Go ogle Cuddy.

\- misognst

\- I am putting my phone away. Go harass a stranger. That's fun.

\- fine

\- Good.  
   I'm making pizza for dinner. You can come over if you want.

\- w/e

\- Don't be like that.

\- ur not the boss of me

\- They could not pay me enough.

\- fine. I want crmlzd ons

\- OK. Come over around 7.

\- no pesto shit

\- OK. Go away now, please.

\- btwily

\- What does that mean?  
   Oh, now you're suddenly silent?  
   Fine.  
   C U L8r

 

_End_


End file.
